Yay for Justice League!

I just read this awesome interview with Dwayne McDuffie, a writer for Justice League Unlimited. I love this show to pieces, and lately it’s been just amazing. The interview was fun to read and I loved the comments about Batman not being paranoid. Now if only Oracle would show up on the show it would be absolutely *perfect*…

Worst Bridal Magazine Ever

Ok, I’m really not picky about bridal magazines (pretty much all I ask is pretty pictures). However, the magazine that I picked up at the grocerie store yesterday is absolutely dreadful. Not just ‘not having what the cover promises’ dreadful, but almost offensive dreadful. For those of you who really don’t give a damn, I’m going to rant for a little while now, so you may want to ignore this post.

Ok, so the magazine in question is the “Celebrity Special” edition of Wedding Dresses Magazine (“The Magazine for the Multidimensional Bride”). I can’t say I’ve ever read this magazine before, or ever seen it on a list of recommended wedding magazines. I did not pick this up for any wedding advice. Besides being somewhat beyond the point of wanting or needing magazine advice for my wedding, this wouldn’t be one I would get for that. I got it because the cover promised celebrity wedding dresses, which are always interesting to see. I used to get celebrity wedding issues of People Magazine to look at with my mom when I was a kid. Anyway, I’m not expecting much. Pictures of famous people in wedding dresses getting married is about it. Well, this magazine has lots of other stuff, but very little in the way of celebrity wedding dresses.

Let’s start at the beginning – the letters page. Every single letter is glowing about how this is the bestest magazine ever conceived of. Not a good sign. Then we have five “celebrity wedding dress designers” profiles. These are glorified ads, which is fine (most of wedding magazine content is), but since each is chosen for having designed wedding dresses for famous people, one would expect pictures of said dresses on said famous people. Instead, we get bad PR shots from weddings that show nearly nothing of most of the dresses. Ok, whatever, it’s not technically the focus of the article anyway, right? There have to be more pictures later on.

So let’s keep flipping. Then we get to the question and answer part of the program. Every bridal magazine has this. This is where people write in to ask “can I make my dog wear a dress?” and the writers reply “sure, but everyone (especially the dog) would rather if you didn’t”. Again, I don’t ask much, just common sense. No, this magazine can’t handle even that. A woman says that she and her fiance can’t afford to rent a wedding site and are getting married at her mother’s house. She asks for advice in decorating it to be not boring. The answer: use antique silverwear, give local villagers bottles of champaign and strew your swimming pool with tea candles and water lilies. Hello, if she can’t afford to rent a place do you really think she can afford any of those things? Another bride asks for suggestions for coordinating the overall look of her wedding. Their solution: make your guests all wear specific colors (e.g. black and white or pastels). They do suggest you not ask them to wear fuchisa or marmalade yellow.

Then we have an article about wedding related happenings in reality TV shows. First of all, who ever came up with this very very stupid idea for an article? I couldn’t even read the whole thing! I just skimmed. Nevertheless, I found some gems. The author writes: “What is a Bridezilla? I’ve never heard of that word until it was the title of a wedding reality show.” Ignoring the less than wonderful grammer, my reaction is “Huh?!?!?” You write for a BRIDAL MAGAZINE and you have never heard the word before? It’s pretty common, especially in the bridal industry. Then he proceeds to describe how he knows what that word means because when his sister’s ring for her husband fell down an air duct on their wedding day she cried in the back for a few minutes while they tried to retreive it, then used someone else’s borrowed ring for the ceremony and replaced the ring for her husband later. Yes, that is *exactly* the kind of irrational behavior the word refers to. *eyes roll*

So then we get a section telling you how to imitate celebrity wedding styles (go to capri to get married, have a wedding in Vegas for a marriage that lasts 55-hours, spend a million dollars, etc. None of the pictures show anything remotely clear about any given celebrity wedding dress. Then there is a section about how to use red-carpet jewelry as inspiration for wedding jewelry (colored diamonds the size of your hand are apparently in), suggested wedding rings for various types of brides (athletic – aka Serena Williams who is not a bride to my knowledge – brides should buy giant geometric rings), and where to buy giant glass swan centerpieces.

Then they have suggestions for registries. Each page has a “celebrity couple” as it’s theme. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are “Mix ‘n’ Match” while Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham are “Splurge”. Ok, besides this being a very dumb theme, the suggestions are awful. Usually the things on wedding regestries are stuff you can’t or otherwise wouldn’t buy for yourself. This means there should be a range of prices in reasonable ranges. $450 per place setting for dishes Vera Wang flatwear may qualify, but they are not practical unless you *are* Demi Moore or Oprah.

Can you tell this magazine made me angry? Just wait, we haven’t gotten to the part where I got offended and yelled at the magazine yet.

There are the obligatory celebrity hairstyles and make-up sections. Pages of “hollywood trends” dresses follow (they have no idea what vintage styles look like). A list of their top ten movie wedding dresses follows. It’s ok, but some of their choices are suspect and their comments even more so. As far as I can tell, the only part of Maria Von Trapp’s wedding dress they liked from “The Sound of Music” was the train. There’s an article showing dresses that fit themes like “princess bride” and “return to romance”. A spread of pages with dresses and make up and jewelry that are gold follows. Then there is a one page article with five pictures that cover what everyone else (besides the bride) should wear. There is a list of the “Couture Bridal Awards” given out by such a high authority as this magazine. Then it’s pretty much just ads.

In the exact middle of the magazine is the article that made me angry. It the closest to celebrity wedding dresses that we get, and none of the celebrities have been married or are shown wearing wedding dresses. They picked four wedding dress designers (none of whom I have heard of before) to choose a dress from their line that they would dress five different celebrities in for their weddings. First off, if this isn’t totally cheating I don’t know what is. So, each celebrity is supposedly chosen for her body type and brides are told to look at the suggestions for the celebrity with her body type and buy a dress like that. I usually hate these things because magazines have the worst image of what women’s body types are. Anyway, Lucy Liu is their example for “petite”, although they also deal with petite as one of Salma Hayek’s problems. The fact that being short is dealt with as a problem to be hidden by all of the designers and the magazine itself made me angry. What if I’m a woman who doesn’t want a dress that makes me artificially tall? What if I (horror of all horrors) actually *like* that I am short? I’m apparently strange and deluded. Ok, so I’m short. Does that really have to define my body type? I know women who are short stick people, short with feminine curves, and short with muscles. Apparently that doesn’t matter. Short is short. It’s evidently a big enough problem that just dealing with that predicates anything else. I can’t even tell you how mad this made me. Most of the magazines do this stupid “body type” thing, but most are not this bad about seeing shortness as a problem to be fixed. I’ve read Vogue articles that even celebrated it!

Anyway, I know that was a very long post, but no one actually has to read it. I just got very angry at this dumb magazine (angry enough to be trying to figure out how to get my money back) and wanted to write about it. I’m done now.

Lessons from Origins: Boys are Stupid

And no, that isn’t news to me.

I got back from Origins on Sunday night. I’m still kind of recovering, but expect a long post about why Origins was proof of the stupidity of boys from beginning to end (and a blast too!). I love the guys to death, and I met some wonderful new guys in the process, but the running arguement seemed to be about boy stupidness and why it is there and why they don’t care. I’ll write it up in the next few days.

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